Charlie's Blog

SOMETHING POSITIVE TO DO/A PURPOSE (in your life):

Let’s approach this first from what we do professionally. Our positive attitude is affected greatly by what we do in our jobs. If you “have to go to work” then chances are you will be negative. But if you find the purpose in your profession then you get to go to work and sometimes can’t wait to get to work because of how you are helping others in life.

Here are examples in finding the purpose in your life. Fed Ex founder Fred Smith has told his drivers that they just aren’t driving trucks around every day. No, in those trucks could be a machine part that is critical to get an assembly line back on track. In those trucks could be a medical part that is vital to helping a person recover from a health challenge. With that perspective those drivers have a purpose and their attitude can’t help but be more positive.

Three workers were cutting stone. When asked what they were doing, the first answered, “I am cutting stone.” The second said, “I am making a wall.” The third replied, “I am building a cathedral.” The third one had truly found purpose in his work.

I remember taking two of my children to a local minor league baseball game. The game started at 2 and we got there very early. They said we had to wait about fifteen more minutes because the ball park was being used for a private party for a local company. As we stood outside the gates I realized the company inside was Elkhart Brass. They make innovative fire fighting equipment. They had brought all their employees to the ball park for a Sunday afternoon social gathering to show appreciation for them. As it wound down and the park was about to be opened to the public, I heard their company leader take the microphone and speak to the workers. He thanked them and reminded them that each day they came to work they were making equipment that kept fire fighters safer and helped them to put out fires faster. I vividly remember thinking to myself, ‘What a purpose in a job!”

It wasn’t long after that I read a local magazine story on a successful real estate agent named Jan Lazzara. In the article she stated that what kept her on fire was that she was not just helping people to buy and sell houses. She was helping them find HOMES. That gives her powerful purpose each day.

I was in the gym working out one day and had a deep conversation with the lady next to me about finding meaning in work. I said someone that worked at a fast food restaurant would struggle with meaning because the food was not a positive thing for the customers. She corrected me in the sense that she said someone working there could focus on being encouraging to customers and looking to give a warm smile to that person that seemed down.

In his book “Authentic Happiness” there is a story by the author Martin Seligman about when he visited the hospital and was in the room of a friend that was in a coma. There was a Ward Orderly in the room who was focused on achieving a task. Now, in the scheme of doctors and nurses you would think Ward Orderly would be down on the pecking order. To some it might be, but not to this man. He had a purpose. He was fixing the paintings and flowers up to where they were positioned just right in the room. Seligman asked him what he was doing.

“My job. I’m an orderly here, but you see I’m part of the team responsible for the health of these patients. Even though Mr. Miller hasn’t been conscious since he arrived, when he does wake up I want to make sure he sees beautiful things right away.”

The orderly was able to find a deep purpose in his job behind what others would think of as mundane orderly tasks. I bet he couldn’t wait to get to work so that he could do things to help patients. His attitude had to be so positive compared to the person that looked at their shift that week and thought, “Well, working 2 to 11 today…..”

Did he come to that realization of his own accord, or was it a leader who inspired him to see the import of his work? We don’t know the answer to that question, but the question it begs you to ask yourself is, “How can I help my people to create such a positive attitude about the work that they do?”

Another word to use here is ‘meaning.’ Viktor Frankl wrote ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ in 1946. In 1991 the Library of Congress and Book-of-the-Month Club listed that book as one of the ten most influential books in the U.S. The book is about Frankl’s experience in Nazi concentration camps as a Jewish psychiatrist. He writes about his observation that what separated those that lived and died in those camps was ‘meaning.’ For example, there were two men there that were giving up on life. What Frankl did was help them find their meaning, a purpose to go on. With one man it was his son, who lived in another country. For another it was the books that he had started to write. He became determined to get out and finish them!

“In both cases,” Frankl writes, “it was a question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how.”

Regarding attitude, he writes: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

In the popular movie ‘City Slickers’ the grizzled cowboy played by Jack Palance, Curly, has that famous mini speech where he explains the meaning of life. While holding up a finger he says it is ‘one thing.’ They key, he says in gruff fashion, is finding out what that one thing is for you. An entire book could be dedicated to the analysis of ‘one thing’ but it is good to take time to reflect what that one thing is for you. Is it the pursuit of a high level position and the financial rewards that come with it? Is it making a difference in the lives of young people? Is it loving God with all your heart and soul? Is it dedicating your life to service? What is your ‘one thing?”

Let me take ‘one thing’ one more step. What is it that YOU do better than anyone else in the world? It doesn’t have to be something “famous” like LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world or Meryl Streep is the best actress. It could be that no one else is better at untying a knotted up fishing line. It could be the ability to make a grandchild feel better that is sick. It could be making the best pancakes in the world.

This has been an in depth look at the first of the Four Needs we have to be positive and content. Next week we will go deeper into the second one.

(from ‘How to Build a Positive Attitude and KEEP the Darn Thing! Corby Books, 2013)

Charlie Adams

That time is now.

Vicki Trujillo has a dream. She creates cakes. No, she doesn’t just bake cakes, she creates them. Wedding cakes, birthday cakes, cupcakes….you name it she creates it. Her dream is to create her own bakery, specializing in specialty cakes.

The problem is she has no money. But, as we all should know, the Universe is waiting on you to do great things. As luck would have it, the Universe was waiting on the 26-year old single mom to DO Something. Last September, Vicki was inspired by one of her professors at Indiana University-South Bend to attend some outside lectures just to see the larger view of the world.

The professor’s specific instructions were to attend a lecture and either ask a question or shake the presenter’s hand. Vicki, by accident stumbled into a lecture by the owner of Jimmy John’s (sandwiches), Jimmy John Liautaud.

As she sat between (photo above) hundreds of University of Notre Dame MBA students and lots of seemingly rich people, she felt intimidated and maybe just a little scared. However, she recalled her professor’s suggestion and, after being unable to ask him a question during the presentation, she felt obligated to hang around the stage and talk to him personally.

The presenter talked to many people but, when it came her turn, listened intently to what Vicki had to say. Suddenly, without warning, reached into his wallet, and gave her his business card. “Call me,” he said. “Let’s see if we have some common interests.”

Four months later, Vicki found herself in the spacious offices of Jimmy John’s in Champaign, Illinois talking about dreams and talking about business. And, while only time will tell of Vicki can put together a plan with Jimmy Johns, another miracle occurred almost at exactly the same time.

Vicki’s incredible story, which was observed by a South Bend Tribune reporter, paper and was seen by the owner of a long-time family bakery who was in the market to sell the business. He had trouble contacting her and, again, the Universe moved. On the advice of her professor, Vicki made a couple of calls to local bakeries to talk to the owners about what it was like to run a bakery and her very first call was to this individual. The owner called it an amazing coincidence. But the Universe knows different.

So, in the space of six months, Vicki has gone from a freshman in college to getting a private meeting with a billionaire to getting the opportunity to buy a long-standing business to having a university class help her get started … all because she stepped outside her comfort zone and shook someone’s hand. Is there any question the Universe was waiting for her? It sort of makes one wonder who else the Universe is waiting on, doesn’t it? — by Mark Bradford

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Mark is a longtime friend of mine, and ……. the the college professor who encouraged Vicki to step out of her comfort zone. I asked him to share more about his feelings on the attitude of taking action and more:

“Charlie, my theory on life and motivation is that we are all given talents by God (or however the individual thinks our souls are created) and each talent is designed for only us. However, for most of our lives, we are sold on trying to live other people’s lives.

Our parents influence us, the media influences us, our friends influence us, religions influence us and so on and so on. Finding ourselves becomes very difficult because we are always trying to keep other people happy. The saddest people I know are the ones who either never discover and use their true talents or are so tied up by societal rules that they never give true happiness a try.

I try to get people to understand three things: The first is the concept of a “silly goal”; the second is the concept of “small wins;” and the third is the idea that

Years ago I was lucky and took my first job as a sportswriter for the Elkhart Truth newspaper. It took me only 15 minutes to discover that it was my life’s passion. I could not get enough of it and looked forward to Friday nights covering the high school games as if every one was Christmas. I set a silly goal of being chosen to represent the local newspaper at a major football bowl game. I mentioned the goal to my editor in joking one time and we both had a good laugh about it. After all, I was a part time writer and part timers never got plum assignments. But that was when the “small wins” theory kicked in. Whenever the editor would need an emergency article done, I would go out of my way to do it. Little by little, the editor saw that I could handle a variety of assignments and, on Jan 1, 2001, I found myself covering the Purdue-Washington Rose Bowl game.

Suddenly, the dream was not so silly and the wins were not so small. That theory leads to what I firmly believe today. The universe is waiting for you to do something. But you have to understand that the universe is made up of people. So, if you really want something, you need to take the small win approach and slowly, but surely, the universe moves over for you.

People will appear out of nowhere to help you achieve your goal. It has happened to me several times. And now I try to impress upon my college students that it is very real. You must “be there” in order for the universe to know what you want. You can’t just wish to become general manager of the Chicago Cubs, for instance. Instead, you start by washing socks for the South Bend Silver Hawks minor league baseball team. Slowly, but surely, the universe moves. While you may not get to be general manager, my guess is you would at least get to work for the organization. Then again, you just might get that job. You never know unless you try.”

Thank you, Mark.

In my new book ‘How to Build a Positive Attitude and KEEP the Darn Thing!’ I share stories and tools that help people take the action steps necessary to achieve positive results.

Charlie Adams

This book is filled with practical tools and stories to help you and your organization be as positive as possible in a very challenging world.

Much of it is filled with insights from seminars I have delivered on this subject, where I ask people about how they stay positive. During my years in television news, I did regular positive attitude stories. This book shares the secrets of how people with championship attitudes are able to build and keep them.

I went with a format where one chapter is on positive attitude tools, and the next chapter is a positive attitude story. I have learned as a speaker over the years that readers/audiences appreciate tools they can use, inspirational stories, and entertainment and humor. This book focuses on those areas.

Among the content:

* The power of Initial Spin
* Meet these 4 Needs and be content and joy filled
* The most positive people I interviewed in a quarter of a century in television news
* A step by step guide of how to stay positive throughout an entire day
* 4 ways for better work/life balance
* Gary Player – the most positive athlete I ever interviewed
* Mandy Green with tips on how to manage your time
* How a Chamber of Commerce President dropped 70 pounds seven years ago and has kept it all off
* Self Talk tips
* The power of forgiveness
* Even the most positive can lose that attitude – and how to get it back
* Ways to make the work environment more positive
* The most amazing example of Forgiveness
* Encouragement
* The most powerful quote on attitude
* How to be solution centered
* Half empty or half full?
* The attitude of gratitude
* Scriptures to stay positive
* The most positive people that readers of my Tuesday enewsletter know

The book is 254 pages and is written in a bit of a workbook form in that there are spaces for you to write and reflect. There is also a steady stream of practical positive attitude tips from folks like you in the book, which are boxed in.

With this new book out, my point of emphasis in 2013 will be delivering 2 hour or half day seminars of ‘How to Build a Positive Attitude and KEEP the Darn Thing!’ If there is one thing that speaking over the years has shown me is that attitude is huge and a lot of folks struggle with it because they don’t have the tools to be positive and solution-centered. I feel this new book and the accompanying seminar can help in that way.

Charlie Adams

Here is an  excerpt from new book … a chapter on Positive Self Talk:

While delivering my attitude seminar in Chicago and asking the audience what they did to keep their self talk as positive as possible, one woman said she had heard a good idea was to wear a rubber band around a wrist, and when negative self talk pops up, lift up and rubber band and pop the heck out of yourself. She had done it and said it worked!

Thank you, Tammera. Here is something that has worked for me for years as far as getting my self talk back in line (it tends to get out of line sometimes…). There is the story of an old Cherokee chief and what he told his grandson:

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life…
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. “One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. “This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”

That is what it boils down to regarding self talk. What are you feeding the most, negative or positive thoughts? Quit feeding the bad ones. Make them starve. One of the things that robs us of our positive attitude is when we conjure up ’scenario’s’ of what might happen with most of those possibilities being negative. In that case I always think of the television show Dragnet. It actually aired before my time but I have seen reruns and on it Sgt. Joe Friday is regularly getting information from female informants. When they start rambling or getting off point, he always says, “Just the facts, ma’am.” Save that line for your inner thought when you start cooking up negative possibilities.

In one of my attitude seminars out west, a lady said when negative thoughts attack her she “sends Jesus to the door.” I had another person say they instantly visualize a giant red STOP sign. One fellow said he had read that you should picture your mind as a garden and that negative thoughts were weeds. Pick them out. I had another person tell me that what worked for them was pretending they had a vacuum cleaner in their mind and turning it on to suck out all the negative thoughts.

What I love about delivering this seminar is getting ideas from folks! They have picked them up from places such as books and magazines. One time I was speaking in Indianapolis and a man said that he had read somewhere that you would never let someone rude come into your house and continue to be rude and obnoxious. You would see them out! He said that’s the way he is with negative thoughts. He boots them out!

For information on ordering multiple copies for your organization or event you can either contact me via this newsletter email or Corby Books at (574) 784-3482

Charlie

Lowell “Squeaky” Bontrager (photo above) was the motorcoach driver of a recent group travel trip I hosted to New York City. Over the years, he has taken over 135 groups of all ages to Washington, D.C. alone.

Each day his clothes were pressed, and his red, white and blue patriotic ties went over well with the customers. As I got to know Squeaky, I learned of his remarkable attitude towards life, especially his two children. Both were born severely handicapped and retarded. Both taught him life lessons that he is grateful for to this day.

Years ago, Squeaky had a job taking care of turkeys. “They say the only thing dumber than a turkey is the person taking care of them,” he said, chuckling. It was at that time he and his wife were expecting their first child. If it was a boy, he would eventually have the coolest car around, because Squeaky’s God given gift, he said, was being a mechanic. Someday he was going to have a shop.

The baby did not come at due date. They took x rays that revealed the child had a very small head. “He will not live when born,” the Doctor said. The Bontrager’s disagreed. After induced labor, the boy was born, and today is in his 40’s.

“He always needed complete care,” said Squeaky. “Not able to feed himself, walk, or talk, but always happy. There went my ‘cool car’ dreams for my boy. How about a cool wheel chair!? We kept Doug at home. Several years passed and we tried again to have a child. Everything went well until delivery when the same problem happened. A sweet, sweet girl we named Tonya was born.”

When Tonya was born, Squeaky didn’t think he could take the pain. One day at work that all changed. Work was “Squeaky’s Auto Service,” his own auto repair.

“God was so close to me that day I could almost touch Him,” he said. “He showed me that these two children were given as a gift and blessing, not a burden. See, I received what I had asked for but they were wrapped different than I had planned. God knew what I needed, I only knew what I wanted. Can you or I tell God He made a mistake? No, He does not make mistakes. The only thing Doug and Tonya are guilty of is loving unconditionally, the closest thing to the love that God has for each of us.”

“There is one thing I ask myself over and over,” said Squeaky. “That is why I was chosen twice to receive children that would not break my heart, but would be perfect in that they loved me and my wife Verda unconditionally. What greater gift could one get? I am so thankful they were sent to our home because I would have missed this foretaste of Heaven.”

Tonya loved the simple things in life, like taking a ride in the car or sitting on the couch with her Dad. “Those were some of the greatest times I ever had with Tonya,” said Squeaky. “We could do that for hours. See, we could communicate without saying one word. Oh, her smiles would melt your heart. She loved one special drink, red Hawaiian punch. She would follow that glass of punch with her eyes. Then, when it was time for bed she loved to have some ice cream. She ate it like a little princess. Her little tongue would pop out as she licked her lips. That was her way of saying this is mighty good and lets have some more!”

Tonya, who wasn’t supposed to live an hour, made it to being a young woman before dying. “My sweet Tonya is in Heaven running around in her new body,” said Squeaky. “How I miss her. Doug is in his 40’s.”

Because of the demands on caring for someone with such special needs, he is in a special care center. “The professionals that take care of Doug say he is a little flirt,” said Squeaky. “Don’t know where he got that from!”

“Both Doug and Tonya would get laughing spells where they could hardly catch their breath,” said  Squeaky.

“Everyday I thank the Lord for my wife, Verda, which gave birth to the two most wonderful gifts a father could ever get. The Lord always provided us with what we needed when we needed it. We learned to trust Him completely.”

Charlie Adams

That’s what Michelle Fioritto told me recently. Michelle is the HR Manager of ASA Electronics. Since 1977, ASA has built a reputation developing mobile electronics specifically designed and tested to withstand the rigors of automotive, van, RV, heavy duty truck, marine, construction, and agricultural environments, I met her at a speaking engagement recently. Before speaking, I talked to her at length about her passion for the importance of attitude as well as on-site wellness programs. While hopeful that everyone can be as positive as possible, she is sympathetic to how a negative attitude can overcome someone.

“It’s past history,” she said. “Things happen, we strive but things continuously backfire. You try and try and sooner or later the ‘it’s not going to happen’ attitude settles in. You see it in that person that has been out of work for awhile and has 50 resumes out. They get interviews, but no offers. They get to the point where they show up with the ‘it won’t happen’ attitude but they have to have the positive attitude of ‘this could … this WILL be the one where I get my foot in the door!’ We all have ups and downs. We have to have a way to get back to a positive attitude. We all need someone to talk to whether it is a close friend or our pastor or someone.”

Michelle shared with me a very hard stretch of her life when she went through her divorce. Rather than letting it overwhelm her and her attitudes, she reached out for support and found that her church was offering a 13 week divorce class.

“There were the stages of disbelief, hurt and anger to go through,” said Michelle. “Those classes really helped me in recognizing who I was and that I could succeed through any adversity. It helped me understand the changes I needed to make personally and professionally and how to be a better person.”

“Some people just don’t have positive attitude as part of their personality,” she said. “As H.R. manager when I interview, an accounting person will have a different personality and set of attitudes from a customer service manager, which is different from sales. As employers we have to juggle those attitudes. When you have a positive, can do attitude, that’s what we want in our customer service and sales people. With sales, I want people that have drive and are goal driven with positive attitudes.”

“A major criteria in hiring is attitude,” she said. “A resume gives you an idea of skills but it doesn’t tell you about attitude. Every company has their own culture and knows the kind of people that fit.”

ASA Electronics also understands the importance of fitness for health reasons as well as how it makes a person more positive. A few years ago they put in a new fitness center for employees (photo below – there is a place you can click up above to make sure you can view pictures) with state-of-the-art workout equipment, including an aerobics studio, a cardio room with treadmills, stationary bikes, and ellipticals, two weight training areas, and separate men’s and women’s changing rooms (photo below).

They had an old fabrication building next door to their main facility that they decided to redesign the old building into a wellness center. It came from the leadership of their leader Tom Irions, who has always had a passion for the well being of their people.

“We have certified trainers come in everyday at lunch and four times a week at night,” Michelle told me. “The lunchtime session is half an hour. This is all paid for by the company and is free for employees and spouses. We have found that people buddy up and camaraderie improves. We all know that exercise impacts energy. Physical fitness and wellness go hand in hand. It’s such a stress release.”

Some might take the perspective of, “Well, we don’t really have a place for a fitness center.” ASA Electronics has 100 employees. They knew the importance of fitness as far as how it relates to attitude and energy, so they knocked down walls, added a floor, and made it happen. It has been a real asset in the five-plus years they have had it working.

“At 5:30 pm we will have boot camp, yoga, and something we call ‘buns and guts!’ We have hip hop. We respond to what is the ‘in’ thing. Right now it is Turbo Kick. We also challenge them. A competitor is in all of us. We came up with ‘You Gotta Want It’ (photo below) and take your fitness to the next level. We gave them the opportunity to be measured in things like pushups and situps and then challenged them to get better over six weeks with classes and instructors.”

It is my hope that what they are doing to make fitness and wellness programs available to their people can inspire you to take steps in a similar fashion! Way to go, ASA Electronics!

Getting back to attitude, Michelle says it is critical that young people understand the importance of developing a positive one.

“I have talked about getting out to the colleges and speaking,” she said. “They need to hear about the importance of the positive attitude and about having goals and a drive to succeed. Many young people think they can only do this, this and this. No, those are things you are familiar with now. There are so many things you can learn if you have the right attitudes.”